


You Know What, Blondie? We Should Get Married.

by somanyfamdomswhy



Category: RWBY
Genre: F/M, but also not really, i love this ship so much, if you want to know the one shot ask. It wouldn’t let me add it as an inspired work, slightly inspired by a dramione one shot, this idea and this format popped into my head
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-16
Updated: 2018-01-16
Packaged: 2019-03-05 17:52:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,238
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13393131
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/somanyfamdomswhy/pseuds/somanyfamdomswhy
Summary: This, my friends, is how to properly propose to basically a stranger.





	You Know What, Blondie? We Should Get Married.

“You know what, Blondie? We should get married.”

“Excuse me?”

“You heard me. We should get married.”

“Black, the most I know about you is that I’ve been chasing your sorry self around Remnant since I was 18 to turn you in. Now that I’ve found you, and now that I’m about to turn you in to General Ironwood, you think now is the proper time to propose to me?”

“Well, you said it yourself. You’ve been after me since we were 18!”

“I’ve been trying to ARREST you!”

“See, you’re an adamant woman. An amazing quality to have in a wife.” 

“Do you even know my name, Black?”

“Of course, you’re the amazing huntress Yang Xiao Long, Blondie.”

“Then why do you keep calling me that?!”

“Oh, because all cute couples have cute nicknames for each other.”

“We are NOT dating.”

“Of course not, we’re engaged, Blondie.”

“I never said yes to your proposal, Idiot.”

“You never said no, either.”

“I think I’ve made my point clear enough, Black.”

“But, you’ve never explicitly said no.”

“You seriously want me to EXPLICITLY say no to your funny little proposal?”

“Of course not, Blondie! I want you to explicitly say yes!”

“You’re insufferable.”

“Hey, just because I’m insufferable doesn’t mean I won’t make a great husband.”

“You’re a wanted criminal and murderer. How is that husband material?”

“Hey, if you want me to change my occupation, consider it done.”

“Wow, that’s wonderful, and oh so considerate of you, Black. Especially since you’re about to get put in prison for life.”

“Hey, Blondie. You and I both know that I could easily break out of these bonds and escape off this stupid ship unscathed. Well, unless you decide to fight me. Then, it’d take me quite a while.”

“If you’re so confident in your abilities to escape, then why don’t you just do so?”

“Because I wouldn’t be able to propose to you, then. Obviously.” 

“You’re only proposing to me because you got caught.”

“No, Blondie. In fact, it’s the other way around.”

“You’re telling me that the only reason you got caught is so you could propose to me?”

“Of course!”

“Black, you know nothing about me.”

“And you haven’t given me an answer yet.”

“I thought my answer was clear.”

“You haven’t said yes or no,”

“Alright then, Black. I’ll play your game. What happens if I say no?”

“I escape off this airship, and we continue to play this game of cat chase mouse for the rest of our lives.”

“And if I say yes?”

“Then you and I both escape off this airship, if you want, I’ll get a different job, I’ll buy you a ring, and we get married.”

“Are you actually serious about this proposal, Black? You’re seriously asking me to be your wife?”

“There’s no one else I’d rather marry, Blondie.”

“What about your green-haired partner in crime Emerald?”

“Too much like a sister to me. Plus, she’s been seeing this blue-haired boy in secret for about a year now.”

“Neptune?!”

“Yeah! That’s his name, Blondie!”

“Oh my gosh… Why of all people would you chose to propose to the person who’s been chasing you down the past four years?”

“Well, we’ve known each other for a very long time. I also know we’d never get tired of each other.”

“How do you know that?”

“Well, you haven’t gotten tired of me these past four years.”

“We haven’t had much of a conversation until now.”

“And it’s been going quite nicely, hasn’t it Blondie?”

“If by nicely you mean that you’ve been asking me to marry you since you’ve gotten on this plane and I now have to turn in Neptune for not following the code of a huntsman.”

“Well, you really don’t have to.”

“Of course I do!”

“Not if you marry me.”

“Black, How many times do I have to tell you?”

“Only once! You haven’t given me an answer yet! You don’t want to tell me no, do you, Blondie?” 

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“You’re actually really honored that I’m proposing to you. It’s not that you don’t want to marry me, it’s that you really want to get married.”

“What makes you think that?” 

“You’re lonely. You haven’t been in a relationship since before you enrolled in Beacon. Your younger sister is getting married, and you’re lonely.”

“How do you know about my sister’s wedding?!”

“Who do you think she’s getting married to?” 

“Some guy named Rolland Timework. He seems nice enough.”

“That name doesn’t sound familiar to you? At all?”

“Who in the world could that possibly be, Black?”

“Blondie, it’s Torchwick. He faked his own death years ago to be with your sister.”

“Is everyone in a relationship with a criminal these days?”

“No, not yet. You still haven’t accepted my proposal.”

“What do you even get out of this marriage anyway? Why would you want to marry me?”

“Well, firstly, I’d obviously have the hottest wife in all of Remnant.”

“Don’t try and flatter me, Mercury.”

“You called me Mercury.”

“Yeah, so what? That’s your name, isn’t it?”

“Well, you’ve called me by my last name for as long as I can remember.”

“Well, you’ve called me Blondie since we first met.”

“Well, Blondie is my nickname for you. All the greatest couples have them.”

“We are not a couple.”

“We are not a couple, yet. Don’t you want to hear the other reasons I want to marry you?”

“Really? There’s more?”

“Of course there is! I wouldn’t just want to marry you just because of your looks. Do you really think I’m that shallow?”

“Mercury, I caught you trying to rob an old woman.”

“Do you actually think I was going to rob the woman, Blondie? I was just trying to get your attention so I could ask you to marry me. I don’t do petty crimes like that, especially out in the open.”

“Somehow, I find that very hard to believe.”

“Anyway, Blondie you’re the strongest most courageous woman I know. I know for a fact that you’re willing to make sacrifices for those you love and care for. You have this harsh, tough outer facade you put on to hide what’s going on on the inside.”

“What are you, my therapist?”

“No, Blondie. I’m just like you.”

“What?”

“I’m just like you, Blondie. Did you actually think I was just born without legs? Honestly, I wish. It would’ve made my life a lot easier.”

“Well… what happened?”

“I’ll tell you, if you marry me.”

“Are we seriously back to the whole proposal thing?”

“Yes, I didn’t know we had drifted from it, Blondie. I want to be your husband.”

“Alright, Mercury. Answer this. What makes you think I’d want to marry you?”

“I intrigue you, Blondie. I make you think about this world. I make you want to get to know me better because if you know me, you feel like you know this world a little bit better. You want to marry me for the same reason I want to marry you.”

“...”

“Well, Blondie? What do you say?”

“I can’t believe I’m saying this.”

“Saying what?”

“Fine, Mercury. I’ll marry you.”

“Thank you, Yang. Now, let’s get off this airship, future Mrs. Black.”

“That’s future Mrs. Xiao Long-Black to you, Mister.”

“Alright, Mrs. Xiao Long-Black.”

“Wipe that sm-“

-

“What, Blondie? It’s only proper for me to kiss you after the proposal.”


End file.
